Leaving New York - Part One

This portion of blog was written yesterday, Wednesday June 11.



So I'm here in the office at Times Square. It's just past 8:35.

After hugging my mom repeatedly (she didn't want to let me go), more eye problems (goop leaking from my left eye) as well as congestion, thus far the morning has been more like Escaping New York rather than leaving New York. To make matters worse, at the train station where my mom lives, there were two very pale little girls (slavic? nordic?) with HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE roller bags obviously headed back home, where ever that was, and successfully blocking 4 of the 5 turnstiles. So while the police woman helped them, naturally i'm going to show them how much smarter I am at using my metro card PLUS getting my fat, hairy ass through the turnstile WITH a knapsack on my back, my laptop over my right shoulder AND my medium roller bag in front of me. You with me so far?

I got stuck.

The same police woman (trying to hide the smile on her face; bless her little heart) tells me: "You can't shove that big thing in that tiny space!"

Oh yes, she went there!

"Sir, you gonna have to put this bag down." She taps my laptop bag. I put it down on the other side of the turnstile.

"Okay. Now you gonna have to jump over."

"What?" I looked up at her. I've never done that in my life! Mind you, when I was a little boy I snuck underneath the turnstiles, back when they were huge wooden ones. In fact I bonked my head on it once, real hard, but that's a different story.

"Go on! Jump over. Don't worry. I won't arrest you." She's now full-on grinning. Obviously the kind of black woman that likes to give little latin guys a hard time. And we all know how black women sometimes LOVE to give little latin guys a hard time! Then she adds. "You DID pay your fare didn't you?"

I ignored the remark and jumped over.

So, after one of New York's finest showed me just how she good she was at pulling people out of jams, I managed to extricate my bag from the clutches of the nasty metal turnstile and humbly made my way down the stairs to catch the train. Even caught a seat!

And now here I am. I can't WAIT to see what adventures I'll get into next just trying to get back down to the subway and to the airport! I feel like I'm on an episode of Amazing Race! Well, probably more like Go, Diego, Go! Live!; much more my speed given my current energy level.

P.S. The photo at the top of the blog is courtesy of Kurt Russell, a still from "Escape From New York," and Shane Bell who thought he would humour himself and . . . well . . . you see.